Series Two - Episode Nine: Hellman's Trick

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C.A.B Episodes

Series One
Mystery at Ma Mossop's

Ep1: Mystery At Ma Mossop's
Ep2: Break In
Ep3: Danger
Ep4: The Sinister Messenger
Ep5: Prisoner of the Earth
Ep6: The Stranger From The Past
Ep7: A Message From The Past
Ep8: A Message From Ma
Ep9: Nine Lives in Peril
Ep10: Friend or Foe
Ep11: Who's Who?
Ep12: The Missing Links
Ep13: A World in Tatters
Series Two
The Wooden Kamel Mystery

Ep1: The Wooden Kamel Mystery
Ep2: Eel Pie and Custard
Ep3: Message From R Leeder
Ep4: Next Stop Timbuktu
Ep5: It's a Snip
Ep6: Saved By The Bull
Ep7: Ear By Gum
Ep8: Finders Keepers
Ep9: Hellman's Trick
Ep10: Hellman's Reward
Series Links:
Series Index
Series Airdates
Series Three
The Mystery Of The Queen's Beast

Ep1: A Face at the Window
Ep2: The Riddle
Ep3: The Bottle of Hastings
Ep4: Robert the Brute
Ep5: The Chamber Pot Plant
Ep6: Getting Taped
Ep7: Trapped
Ep8: The Great Escape
Ep9: Friends or Foes
Ep10: Nicked in Time
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Episode Details

UK Air Date: Wednesday 16th March 1988, 16.45pm
Copyright Year: MCMLXXXVII (1987)
Consecutive Episode Number: 22
Fremantle Archive Ref: 37199
IMDB Link: Episode page

Cast & Crew

Colin Freshwater Felipe Izquierdo
Franny Barnes Louise Mason
Mr. Hellman Frank Gatliff
Nyegel Keith Varnier
Policeman David Janes
Written By John Kershaw
Theme Music By Adrian Brett
Make Up Unknown?
Costume Designer Pam Doolan
Graphic Designer Peter Lock
Stage Manager Dennis Redwood
Production Assistant Unknown?
Designer Graham Probst
Producer Charles Warren
Directed By John Darnell


More images can be found in the image galleries

Episode Synopsis

Hellman pretends to be Anwar to try to trick the policeman and Nyegel into believing they are getting the true map of the desert secret tomb. But surprises lie ahead.

Episode Guide

'This is secret Agent C.A.B. C.A.B. is the call sign for Colin Freshwater. This is my assistant Franny Barnes, codename Franny the Brill. The secrets of Ma Mossop’s old junk shop have lead us to mysterious adventures at The Wooden Kamel'.

'Umma works for MI6 and we're going to help her stop the soldier from getting the treasure in the old Egyptian tomb, he wants it to help president Al-Greener take over the world. Lots of other people want the treasure, like Nyegel, he works for Jacko Palermo, who wants the treasure just so no-body else can have it. And there's the Policeman, he works for the crazy American called Grandison. And there's Mr Hellman, he's a bit crazy too, he works for himself, wants all the treasure. We were upstairs yesterday, in the Policeman's room, with Umma, listening to his plans. He's going to play a trick on somebody, he didn't say who he was going to trick except there were two of them. We think he meant us'.

Hellman has walked through into the back shop with some boxes, he puts the down and adjusts the clock hands to open the door.

Nyegel is outside, at a distance, he removes a piece of paper from his hat and starts to read it, 'Most private and confidential, I would be most pleased if you would come to Mr Hellman's shop, The Wooden Kamel'. Nyegel places the note back in his hat and marches forwards. Hellman is outside the shop, but he is disguised as an Egyptian. He walks off. The Policeman is on the lookout and recalls his note, 'I have important news for you about a certain map and photograph'. Hellman is in the distance looking towards the shop.

Colin is in the Policeman's attic room recording a message on his dictaphone 'Secret Agent C.A.B reporting, Umma has gone to the airport to meet Anwar. I wanted to go too but I couldn't because of school. My assistant Franny Barnes couldn't go either so Umma gave us her key so we could come in and keep an eye on things until she gets here. Hope Anwar finishes with Hellman and the others for good now. He's bringing a special trick with him from Egypt, something to do with a blue bead Umma says. Franny is downstairs waiting to see if she can find out what Mr Hellman is up to. We've got a walkie-talkie each so she can tell me if anything happens. We don't want anyone to know I'm here, I'm waiting for Grandison to phone, I've got a special message for him'. Franny is seen hiding underneath the table, as she pulls the tablecloth over.

The Policeman is walking whilst reading his note, 'Please be extremely careful, you have many enemies'. Hellman is still looking out as he sees Nyegel approach the shop. Nyegel is thinking of his note 'I would be most pleased if you would come to Mr Hellman's shop, The Wooden Kamel. Signed Anwar, only official guardian of the tomb'. Nyegel enters the shop as Hellman watches. The Policeman starts to approach the shop, he thinks back to his note 'you have many enemies'. Hellman continues to watch as he thinks to himself 'come into my parlour said the spider to the flies' and he laughs. The Policeman enters the shop after first trying to open the door on the wrong side.

The Policeman looks around at the seemingly empty shop, there are candles lit as he steps backwards toward the back shop. Nyegel walks in from the back shop and they ask what each other are doing there. They both confirm they have a special invitation to be there. Hellman, disguised as Anwar, comes into the shop from outside and draws the blind on the door and the side window. The Policeman and Nyegel are waiting in the shop as we see Franny hiding under the kitchen table ready to listen to their conversation. Nyegel then sneaks into the back shop as Hellman walks closer to them. Hellman then lights a small fire and a plume of smoke flashes before them. Nyegel peers in through the curtain from the back shop and enters the room. Hellman greets them both by bowing and they bow back. Nyegel pulls out a note and asks Hellman (in disguise as Anwar) if he is Anwar. Hellman apologises for the secrecy stating that a lot of people are after the fortune. Hellman asks them to be seated and he will explain; then he walks off. The Policeman tells Nyegel he does not want to sit as it is private property and without Hellman’s permission it counts as trespass. Nyegel tells him to stop pretending to be a Policeman as everyone knows that he is not. The Policeman retorts that not everyone knows that Nyegel works for Jacko Palermo and he sneezes. Hellman is then heard saying ‘bless you’ and the Policeman mentions that he should not be out of his sickbed with his cold and that some fool ran over his toes with a bicycle but Anwar’s (Hellman in disguise) note sounded really important. Hellman tells them it is very important. Nyegel and the Policeman then ponder how he knew their addresses to send the note to. Hellman then tells them to be seated. Franny hears this from under the table and realises it is Hellman’s voice and not Anwar.

They both sit as Hellman brings a tray with a bowl of water and asks them to wash their hands, explaining it is a custom. They do this as Hellman tells them ‘when a situation is desperate there are always ways and means to achieving the impossible’. Nyegel asks what is so desperate and why is Hellman not there too. The Policeman adds that they should not be using his place as he can get very angry. Hellman shouts ‘rubbish’ and then tells them that he has found Hellman to be the most polite and kind of gentlemen until now. Hellman then offers them a drink as we see Franny listening in. The Policeman agrees but Nyegel tells them it is wasting time but Hellman tells them it is custom to start a meeting with tea or coffee. Nyegel angrily tells him to get on with it and give him the information he has for them. Hellman says he understands and pours them a drink.

Upstairs in the attic room, Colin is talking on a walkie-talkie trying to contact Franny but he gets no answer, he tries again by moving closer and opening the attic hatch but again he gets no response. Colin then records a message on his Dictaphone ‘Secret Agent C.A.B. reporting, still no reply from assistant F Barnes, on duty, I’ll go down to see what’s happening. Correction I’ll wait for Grandison to phone up then I’ll go down’.

Downstairs in the shop Nyegel tells Anwar (Hellman in disguise) how kind it is of him to make them coffee but he is anxious to hear the message. Hellman raises his cup and so do both Nyegel and the Policeman. Hellman tells them that it is bad news as he pulls a dagger from its sheath. He explains, whilst putting a marshmallow on the tip of the dagger, that last night Hellman found the map and photograph. Franny is still under the table listening as we hear Nyegel and the Policeman muttering. Nyegel tells the Policeman that his sniffling is getting annoying but the Policeman ignores him and asks where Hellman had found the map and photo. Hellman tells them that where is not important. Hellman continues to explain that Hellman last night immediately booked a late flight to Egypt. The Policeman asks if he means that Hellman has gone and he replies ‘as the sun sinks below the horizon and water down a drain exactly so’, he then stabs one of the marshmallows. Nyegel and the Policeman are perturbed that Hellman went without telling them and Nyegel asks which route he took, the Policeman pipes up ‘out of the shop, first left, right, right again, down to the main road, bus to the tube, tube to the airport’, Nyegel despairs at why Grandison employs the Policeman and asks if Hellman has gone to Cairo. Hellman tells them he can not tell them but Nyegel thinks he knows but will not tell them. The Policeman then frets over what he should tell Grandison but Hellman says that it is too late for him because by the time he flies from America the treasure will have already been stolen. Nyegel then says that Hellman will not get his share of the treasure and asks Anwar (Hellman in disguise) that if he is the guardian of the tomb he can tell him how to get there. The Policeman interrupts suggesting he should tell him where to find it as Grandison is not after the treasure to steal it as he only wants to find the tomb to turn it into a burger palace. Hellman calls this revolting but the Policeman continues saying it will also be a disco, the biggest burger disco in the desert. Nyegel retorts ‘the only burger disco in the desert’. The Policeman says that it will do great business but Nyegel does not think it will as Hellman has been trying to find the tomb for forty years without success so children will never be able to find it. The Policeman then explains his idea of trained camels, to put baby camels with bloodhounds so when the camels grow up they will be able to hunt and sniff and follow trails. Hellman retorts 'and the puppies will learn how to grow humps I suppose'. They laugh but the Policeman states that it is done scientifically, Nyegel sarcastically questions 'has anybody worked out how the camels are going to get out the kennels, I mean scientifically, when they've grown too tall to walk through the door. The Policeman is upset and wishes he hadn't mentioned it. Nyegel turns serious stating they are wasting time and asks how he gets to the tomb. Hellman says he will tell them as his memory and knowledge of the tomb is better than any maps and photographs. Nyegel questions if he can be trusted and Hellman replies 'of course, there is no-one in the whole of Egypt more trustworthy'. The Policeman wants to be told as well and Nyegel tells him he'll let him have a map and photograph once the treasure is all gone. The Policeman tells him that he isn't a fool and he should have some treasure too and Mr Grandison can do as he likes. Nyegel tells the Policeman hat he isn't going with him but the Policeman says he can't stop him, they begin to bicker. Hellman calms them both down saying he has consulted with the elders in his family and they decided to tell them both or neither or them.

Upstairs in the attic room Colin has the hatch of open as he tries to contact Franny on her walkie-talkie, 'Come in Franny, please. Franny'. The phone rings. Colin closes the hatch and answers the phone, he puts on a feminine voice saying 'Hello. No, he is not here today. Who is it speaking please? Oh, Mr Grandison, he left a message for you. Something to do with an ancient tomb in Egypt or somewhere. Well he wants you to know there has been a big flood and everything has got washed away.' We hear Grandison shouting angrily, Colin continues 'Shall I ask him to ring you back as soon as possible? Oh, it's a long way to come. Well I might have made a mistake or something. Yes I'll tell him, what time do you think you will arrive. Yes, I'll remember. Bye'. He hangs up the phone looking pleased with himself.

Hellman begins to clear away the drinks as he says 'I do a map'. The Policeman sneezes and Hellman blesses him. Nyegel states that sneezing policeman get up his nose but the Policeman wants to know what had got up his nose. Nyegel threatens him with a punch on the nose as they start to fight. Hellman returns with a map, Nyegel and the Policeman continue to fight. Hellman warns them that they both must go or neither of them will, Hellman reiterates this as decided by his families elders. Franny is tapping the walkie-talkie underneath the table but it doesn't seem to be working. Hellman continues 'please be patient, there is more treasure in the tomb than you will ever imagine, you will be the richest of men'. Nyegel asks about Tripe and if his elders have said that he is to be told about the tomb and the Policeman says 'I'm not sharing anything with that lunatic'. Hellman says not to insult his elders otherwise he will not tell them anymore. He reassures them that it is only them who are to be told adding he has not heard of this Tripe. Nyegel replies 'good'.

Back upstairs Colin records an update on his Dictaphone ‘Secret Agent C.A.B. reporting, I'm receiving S.O.S signals from Franny. I'd better work out a rescue plan. I've got an idea'. He picks up the phone and starts dialling.

Back downstairs Hellman is showing Nyegel and the Policeman a map, telling them 'follow Nile river for twenty two kilometres. You will see on the left an oasis with a small willage' Nyegel translates this as 'village'. Hellman continues 'Go there, willage women will sell you food and water, enough for one week. Then walk into the desert north north-east three days. It is important, do not hire camels, they go their own way. You must travel on foot, alone, then...' Hellman is interrupted by the phone ringing and Nyegel whispers 'who is it' and Franny is seen hiding under the table listening to the ringing phone.

Colin records to his Dictaphone ‘Secret Agent C.A.B. Am trying to contact T.W.K, in brackets The Wooden Kamel downstairs but there is no reply'.

The phone continues to ring downstairs as the Policeman asks 'who is going to answer it?' Hellman warns that it might be the enemy Tripe. Nyegel suggests the Policeman answers it as he can pretend to be a Policeman.

Colin hangs up the phone and continues his recording 'If Franny was alone she'd have answered. Someone else must have arrived. I'm starting operation rescue in twenty seconds. Over and out'. Colin then makes opens the hatch and makes his way out of the attic room.

The Policeman sneezes and is blessed by Hellman, Nyegel reacts 'Why don't you go home to bed or something, I'll come and see you later with all the plans'. They start to argue. Hellman takes the map and rips it in half and rolling each half up stating 'the elders say to make sure you do not cheat each other, may the spirit of the ancient tomb be with you and protect you from all evil'. He passes each of them one half of the map, Nyegel puts it into his briefcase and the Policeman puts his into his jacket, they both thank him and Hellman tells them that he understands there is a plane leaving for Egypt in three hours, Nyegel tells him they'll be on it. Nyegel and the Policeman run out of the shop and over the road and Hellman laughs. Hellman continues to laugh in the shop as he removes the dressing from his face, he goes into the back shop and adjusts the clock to lock the doors. Colin walks in and exclaims 'Anwar, am I glad to see you'. Hellman turns around spitting 'where did you come from?' He replies 'Mr Hellman' and runs into the front shop, 'oh no you don't', Hellman calls out as he chases him, Franny sticks her leg out from underneath the table and Hellman trips and falls. Franny runs into the back shop, adjusts the clock hands to open the doors. Colin runs out the front door as Hellman calls out 'you haven't seen the last of me Colin Freshwater, I'll catch up with you if it's the last thing I do'. He walks into the back shop and sees Franny but she runs out the back door. He says 'I'll get you kids one day if it's the last thing I do'. Hellman adjusts the clock to lock the doors and the phone rings, he answers it 'Yes, oh Tripe', he laughs 'of course it worked, Nyegel and that other ass were completely taken in, um yes, yes the Policeman. So now it's just you and me old friend. What the two children, oh don't worry, we'll get rid of them just as soon as we've got all the information we need and that's only a matter of days now'.