Series Two - Episode Five: It's a Snip
C.A.B Episodes | Episode Details | Cast & Crew | Images | Episode Synopsis | Episode Guide
C.A.B Episodes
Episode Details
UK Air Date: Wednesday 17th February 1988, 16.45pm
Copyright Year: MCMLXXXVII (1987)
Consecutive Episode Number: 18
Fremantle Archive Ref: 37195
IMDB Link: Episode page
Cast & Crew
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Images
More images can be found in the image galleries.
Episode Synopsis
Why is Nyegel hiding under Hellman's table in the back room and why does he want to keep it a secret? He overhears Hellman telling Colin about a secret weapon and MI6. Later, Nyegel meets Colin and Franny and concocts a fantastic story about the weird secret weapon. When Anwar, the keeper of the sacred tomb, arrives back from Egypt and discovers Private Tripe and Nyegel are also around, things get dangerous for them all.
Episode Guide
‘This is secret Agent C.A.B. C.A.B. is the call sign for Colin Freshwater. This is my assistant Franny Barnes, codename Franny the Brill. The secrets of Ma Mossop’s old junk shop have lead us to mysterious adventures at The Wooden Kamel’.
In the Wooden Kamel Nyegel is in the front shop with the left-over party food, he tries to sprinkle salt over some sausages but too much salt falls out and covers the sausages. Nyegel grumbles to himself then tries to sprinkle the excess salt over the rest of the food on the table.
Colin, whilst reading his notebook, walks down the street and towards the Wooden Kamel.
Back in the shop Nyegel goes into the back shop to hide and then Colin walks in and he stops the record player from spinning around and switches it off. Nyegel is now hiding under the table in the back shop. Colin walks through to the back shop and sees Nyegel’s umbrella sticking out from the table, he looks and sees Nyegel but then the door mechanism starts to move, Nyegel tells Colin to ‘Shhhh’ to keep him quiet.
Colin walks into the front shop, the train on the table is going backwards around the track and then he sees Hellman. Hellman tells Colin it is good that he is there; Colin tells him that he thought he was not there. Hellman explains that if he was not there he would not be able to talk to him. Colin then apologises to Hellman about his Long John Silver costume, saying he could not find Umma. Hellman tells him that Franny had brought the costume back after he had left yesterday. Colin asks how Franny got the costume but Hellman reminds him it was Franny who took them off in the dustbin. Hellman continues asking if Franny would come along to the shop too, Colin says he does not know. Hellman tells him that she better as he will need her help, they both walk into the back shop. Hellman explains further that Umma found out about the party from him and is on strike, now she wants more holidays and more tea. Hellman sits down at the table and puts his foot on Nyegel’s hand. Nyegel waves with his other hand to Colin to get Hellman to move. Colin pretends to bump into Hellman, coughing and asks for a drink of water; Hellman reminds him he knows where the tap is. Whilst eating one of the left over sausages Hellman tells Colin that if anyone asks he wants him to let them know that he is no longer interested in the treasure. Colin tells him that he knows but Hellman says that some people will not let him forget, especially MI6. All the while Nyegel is listening into the conversation from underneath the table. Colin asks if he has found out anymore about the secret weapon, is it a laser or a space-ray. Hellman tells him he does not know – it is a secret. Hellman continues by saying that the only thing he can tell him is that the secret weapon is something in a jar. The front door goes; Hellman hides to the side muttering that he does not want anybody to know he is there, especially Private Tripe. Franny then walks through to the back shop and tells Colin that he should not be there. Franny then notices Hellman and asks him if he had a nice party. Hellman says that he did not as no-one came to the party. Colin tells Franny that Hellman wants them to clean up, Franny asks why. Hellman tells them he is off to the cleaners to see if his trousers are ready yet, he walks through to the front shop and Colin follows asking if he can have his bag back as he needs to take the library book back. Hellman tells him not at the moment as Franny enters the front shop. Colin reminds him they were talking about the secret weapon but Hellman tells him that they will speak another time when they are alone. Hellman also tells him that when he returns he wants to know the message that Colin wrote down the other day, Colin pleads ignorance ‘what message?’ Hellman tells him not to play innocent as Franny told him all about Private Tripe.
Hellman then leaves and Franny asks why they will not talk about the secret weapon in front of her. Colin tells her that she is not a secret agent and asks what she has been telling Hellman. Franny explains that she saw Hellman last night when she brought the costume back; Colin asks how she got it as he thought Umma had it. Nyegel is listening in on this conversation from underneath the table in the back shop. Colin then asks where the map and photo are, Franny tells him it is his fault for leaving them on the table. Colin explains that it is important as it is not just Hellman who wants them; it is also Tripe, Nyegel and Anwar. Colin feels that Anwar is around somewhere and back from Egypt, Franny tells him she met Anwar outside, Colin decides to note this down on his dictaphone: ‘Agent C.A.B reporting, Anwar the man from Egypt is around. He’s the guardian of the ancient tomb, where Hellman found the treasure’. Franny tells Colin that Anwar wants to talk to them soon. Franny asks why she is whispering, he tells her to ‘Shhh’. Franny continues saying that Anwar told them to be careful then asks who Nyegel is. Colin tells her to ‘Shhhh’ again but Franny retorts ‘why should I?’
Nyegel then walks in from the back shop ‘Because of me I suppose, good afternoon Miss Franny’. Nyegel asks Colin if he got his message and had he followed the instructions. Colin confirms he destroyed it which Franny questions, Nyegel iterates that they have to destroy evidence. Nyegel then asks Colin if he wants to learn more about Hellman’s secret weapon to come through to the back shop and he will tell him more. Nyegel then walks into the back shop, Franny asks who that is and Colin tells her it is Nyegel but Franny asks ‘Who’s Nyegel?’ Colin explains that Nyegel was in the shop yesterday but could tell him anything as Hellman came back; Colin then joins Nyegel in the back shop. Colin tells Nyegel that he does not believe anybody would be interested in the secret weapon because no-one would want anything as old as Hellman. Nyegel tells him that he is mistaken as Franny walks in; Nyegel tells them about a man called Grandison. Franny says he is the American and thought he would be involved somewhere. Nyegel asks how she knows about Grandison and she explains that the old lady who owned the other shop (Ma Mossop) was always talking to him on the phone and that he is supposed to be very rich. Nyegel explains that Grandison is a business man and that there is money to be made from what Hellman left in the tomb; Nyegel passes them a magazine with Grandison on the cover. Colin says that whatever it is, is in a jar; Franny asks what kind of weapon would fit in a jar? Nyegel pulls a file from his briefcase and says that it is codename S.N.I.P, standing for Strategic Nutritional Intake Preserver. Franny asks what that is and Nyegel continues ‘a jar of sandwich spread’. Colin and Franny look at each other as Nyegel goes onto say that you spread it over sandwiches and they would freeze instantly and to defreeze you would spread more on, Colin tells him that they can not call sandwich spread a secret weapon. Nyegel tells him that the CIA, NATO and the KGB want it as all secret agents want to know how to freeze sandwiches instantly; he takes a sandwich from his case and puts it on the table telling them to think about it. He walks into the front shop and takes one of the sausages, he continues to explain ‘suppose you’re in the middle of your dinner and the enemy comes along, out with the sandwich spread fast and there you are, you’re dinner’s alright until you have time to eat it'. Colin mutters that is stupid as Nyegel walks through to the back shop saying that he does not have to believe him. Nyegel tells them that Grandison wants it so much that he would be willing to destroy the treasure to get to it, Franny reasons that it can not be more valuable than the treasure. Nyegel tells them if Grandison finds it he can work out the recipe and sell it to everyone, ruining everybody’s business but his. Colin asks how and Nyegel explains further that businessmen carried sandwiches in their briefcases but they often went stale before they had time to eat them, then they went on to eating health foods instead, meaning they were awake in the afternoons adding things up. If they had the spread they would go back to eating stodgy sandwiches and go to sleep in the afternoons like they used too making everything grind to a halt, no-one would write letters or add things up. Builders would have nothing to do as no-one would want offices anymore, they would stop work and start eating the sandwiches. Eventually everyone would be eating the sandwiches and going to sleep making Grandison even richer. Nyegel explains that the Space Agency want to get to the secret weapon first to destroy it before Grandison finds it and ruins the world. Nyegel takes a packet of chewing gum from his case and gives it to Colin, he tells him that he does not accept sweets then Nyegel explains it is a special radio transmitter, if Colin then found the map to contact him by pressing on the end of the packet to speak to him but not to press the other end as that is the self-destruct button, he tucks the ‘chewing gum’ into Colin’s pocket and tells them he has to go before Hellman gets back. Colin checks that the coast is clear and Nyegel leaves saying to Franny it was nice meeting her. Nyegel tells Colin in the front shop as he leaves that he is to contact him as soon as he finds the map.
Franny walks in the front shop to join Colin, he mutters that it is a load of rubbish. Franny asks if Colin has decoded the soldier’s message, he shows Franny as someone walks into the back of the shop wearing golden shoes. Colin explains you look up the number in the number-alphabet but suddenly says ‘Anwar’, Franny replies ‘Anwar?’ Anwar walks into the shop and says he heard that Hellman had taken over the shop which him unhappy and very suspicious. He has come back to tell Hellman to stop his search, he asks if they have had a party noticing the food on the table. Colin tells him it was Hellman’s party. Anwar reasons that there are so many people trying to find the tomb he probably thought a party would be a good way of finding out who they all are. Colin said it did not work as no-one came and Anwar says ‘Good’. Anwar asks what the message is, Franny tells him it a message left for Hellman from a soldier who frightened Mr Hellman. Anwar taps on the table and asks if the knock at the door was like this. Colin confirms it was and Anwar says ‘Private Tripe’. Colin asks how he knows and Anwar explains they too have been enemies for many years. After Franny asks if he is after the treasure Anwar explains that he is after the treasure for someone else. Tripe works for a secret army on an island in the Arctic Ocean, spending many year training with them which is why he bangs his feet so often as they do that to keep warm on the cold island. The president of the island wants the treasure to buy spaceships and conquer the world. Franny tells him that is crazy but Anwar tells them that the President and Tripe are very serious and dangerous. Anwar says that he is sorry that Colin kept a copy of the map and the photo, Colin asks how he knows and Anwar explains that bad news travel with migrating birds. Franny tells Anwar not to worry as Colin has not got them anymore, Anwar asks what has happened and Franny tells him he has lost them. Anwar is angry telling them the tomb is not safe until they are destroyed, Franny tells him not to worry and goes to continue but stops as Hellman walks in.
Hellman goes to shake hands ‘it is Anwar isn’t it?’ Hellman then beckons Anwar into the back shop saying he supposes he wants to talk. Hellman tells him he had a party and there must have been a hundred people crammed in the shop. Hellman asks him what he is doing here. Anwar explains that he is guarding the tomb of the ancient pharaoh. Hellman tells him that the tomb is not there and he should go back to guard it. Anwar tells him he is here to stop anyone disturbing the Pharaoh’s resting place, Hellman tells him he can not stop him finding what is rightfully his. Anwar tells him that nothing in the sacred grave belongs to him, Hellman tells him he is after the secret weapon that he left behind, and Anwar warns him that he will never enter the tomb again. Hellman tells him he is only after the secret weapon and is not interested in the treasure, saying that he is a changed character. Anwar tells him he does not know what this means and Hellman explains that he is no longer the greedy treasure hunter he once was, Anwar tells him this is a change and they sit down at the table.
Back in the front shop, Colin explains about the coded message saying that each number represents a letter meaning the message reads ‘From R Leeder, Cave Timbuktu’, Colin explains Cave is foreign which means ‘Look out’ or ‘Beware’. The message reads ‘Beware Timbuktu’. Franny says she does not know what it means but it must have something to do with these, as she pulls the map and photo from her case. Colin asks where they were and she tells him she found them amongst the Long John Silver costume. Colin starts to chase Franny round the table asking why she did not give them back before but she tells him she is keeping them safe as he can not be trusted with them. Colin dashes to try to get them from Franny but falls into the back shop, Anwar has since left but Hellman asks what is going on but Colin mutters ‘nothing’. Colin asks Hellman for his bag back saying his school things and library book are in it. Hellman tells him he has not got it right now, saying he can not remember where he put it. Colin walks back into the front shop, he tells Franny to look after them. Franny tells him it is a good idea she keeps them as everyone thinks that he has them and everyone will be watching him and not herself. Colin dashes again to try to get them but Franny moves out the way round the table, Colin promises to give up. Colin asks what she had said about Timbuktu and Franny tells him that is were Umma comes from, Colin wonders if Umma may be after the treasure to, and he makes a final dash towards Franny and the map but collides with the cat statue which opens to the side revealing Colin’s bag, Hellman walks in and sees them and sees the map and photo Franny is holding in her hand. Hellman stares at them both and the look back at him and the episode ends.
