Series Two - Episode Eight: Finders Keepers
C.A.B Episodes | Episode Details | Cast & Crew | Images | Episode Synopsis | Episode Guide
C.A.B Episodes
Episode Details
UK Air Date: Wednesday 9th March 1988, 16.45pm
Copyright Year: MCMLXXXVII (1987)
Consecutive Episode Number: 21
Fremantle Archive Ref: 37198
IMDB Link: Episode page
Cast & Crew
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Images
More images can be found in the image galleries.
Episode Synopsis
Colin has wild dreams about the table, Mr Hellman and his lost library book. And Hellman and Tripe play a game of snap for high odds which turns very nasty indeed.
Episode Guide
‘This is secret Agent C.A.B. C.A.B. is the call sign for Colin Freshwater. This is my assistant Franny Barnes, codename Franny the Brill. The secrets of Ma Mossop’s old junk shop have lead us to mysterious adventures at The Wooden Kamel’.
Colin is at home, asleep in bed and begins to dream about everything that has happened at the Wooden Kamel ‘This is Secret Agent C.A.B’, he pictures the Egyptian cat, the magical blue bead, the map and photograph, the table and his library book, Anwar and Mr Hellman. He then pictures Mr Hellman laughing and skipping on his library book on his bedside table. Colin moves his hand and the image of Mr Hellman skipping disappears as he switches on the light. He records a message on his Dictaphone ‘this is Secret Agent C.A.B reporting, just dreamt about Hellman and the lost book, I hid it in the table that Hellman threw out, Umma said she put the table on a rubbish skip, I searched for it until dark last night with my assistant Franny Barnes but we didn’t find it . So we’re going to The Wooden Kamel after school today’.
Colin and Franny are sitting on some steps outside a block of flats. Colin begins to record a message on his dictaphone, ‘This is secret Agent C.A.B reporting’, Franny takes the dictaphone and continues ‘and code breaker Franny the Brill’. Colin takes the dictaphone back and continues his message ‘still trying to solve The Wooden Kamel mystery’. They both summarise what they know so far ‘Do you think Umma is just a cleaning lady, I’m not sure, she knew about Nyegel and the Policeman, she’s been asking about the map and the photo too, yeah but so is everyone else. Umma knows about the soldier and the man he’s working for, who wants to take over the world. Private Tripe told Hellman that Umma’s dangerous, but I don’t think Mr Hellman agrees, what do you think?’ Colin tells Franny not to ask him so Franny reminds him that he is supposed to be a secret agent. Franny tells him that he ought to know so Colin tells her he does but can not tell her as it is ‘classified information’. They start walking to see if Umma is in the shop, Franny worries if Hellman is there but Colin reassures her that Hellman will be nice to them as they still have what he wants, Franny reminds him that they do not have what he wants so Colin tells her that Hellman does not know that, Franny says that they do not know what Hellman knows. Franny tells Colin she is not listening to him anymore but will still come to the shop with him to look after him. Tripe is looking from a distance, as the children walk over the road; Tripe follows them, hiding between the trees, he looks on as they approach The Wooden Kamel. Colin peers in through the window and sees the empty front shop.
Hellman and Umma are in the back shop, out of view from Colin as the curtain is closed. Hellman asks why Umma did not give him the soldier’s message. Umma tells him that she ‘clean forgot’ which happens to a lot of cleaning ladies. Hellman does not believe her saying that she also tells lies, reminding her that she lied to him on the phone yesterday when she told him that she never saw the children even though they were in the back shop. Umma just carries on saying ‘wonders will never cease’, so Hellman threatens that she will cease if she does not start telling the truth. Umma replies ‘Truth will out’, Hellman warns her, then asks about the business with the table, Umma tells him that she had it burnt as he told her to. Hellman tells her he knows she threw it on a skip according to Nyegel. Umma tells him not to believe Nyegel, Hellman tells her that Nyegel did not make this up as he had a packet of chewing gum which is really a radio transmitter hidden in the spaceman’s helmet and that Nyegel knows everything she said to the children, what they said, where they were and what they had been doing. Umma calls it nonsense and says it must be a trick. Hellman reassures her that he knows what a trickster looks like and that something funny is going on with Umma mixed up in it. Umma tries to reassure Hellman that Nyegel told him what he thought he wanted you to think he knows. Hellman tells Umma that she scarcely knows him. Hellman goes back to the table asking Umma why she told them it was on a skip if she had it burnt. Umma tells him that they were pestering her and she wanted them out of the way. Hellman then knows she did tell them it was on a skip and Umma is saddened that Hellman is trying to trick her and that he does not trust her. Hellman tells her he does not trust her and Umma tells him that is not a nice thing to say, Umma walks into the front shop and Hellman iterates that it is not nice when people who work for you tell lies, Hellman also tells her not to walk away. Umma calls out she is only getting the gum, Hellman chases into the front shop as Umma takes the packet of chewing gum out of the spaceman’s helmet. Hellman tells her to put it back but Umma assures him that it is ‘only gum’. Umma wanted him to see that, taking some out the packet and telling him you can eat it.
Tripe then marches into the shop holding on to both Colin and Franny, saying he caught them lurking outside. Colin says they were not and Franny asks Hellman to tell Tripe to stop pushing them about. Hellman walks over to Tripe, telling him to stop saying the children are not urchins, they are good friends and he winks to Tripe. Tripe lets them go and Hellman says how nice it is to see them. Hellman tells them that Umma and himself were just talking about chewing gum, he offers some to Colin then saying that he had some the other day, asking if there is any left, Franny says he has eaten them all but at the same time Colin says otherwise. Hellman asks either he did or didn’t and asks why everyone is lying today. Umma explains that Hellman thinks it is some sort of trick microphone and she was going to show Hellman it was ordinary chewing gum and she puts some in her mouth, Colin rushes over telling her not to as it is all printed circuits and microchips. Umma calls this nonsense and pulls some out of her mouth to show Hellman, he tells her not to stick it under his chairs. As Hellman walks off Umma whispers to Colin that she ‘swapped it’. Hellman tells Umma that he still wants to know where the table is. Colin asks what table he means, Hellman looks angry as Umma tells him that she got it burnt as he told her to. Hellman asks if she is telling the truth and she gets upset that he would think she would lie. Hellman tells her not to put the waterworks on and tells them all he wants to speak to them all in the back shop and off he walks, Tripe follows muttering that Hellman does not know who he is ordering about. Umma whispers for Colin and Franny to wait. Umma then opens the front door.
In the back shop Tripe and Hellman are arguing over their rank, Hellman calls in Colin, Franny and Umma. In the front shop the model train is going around the tracks on the table and the sarcophagus opens, they walk inside and it closes as Hellman and Tripe continue to argue. Hellman walks through to the front shop asking ‘where are they’; he notices the front door open and surmises that they have gone whilst Tripe was talking. Tripe walks through to the front shop and Hellman calls him a ‘blithering nincompoop’.
Umma is showing Franny and Colin up some old stairs, telling them to be quick. Colin records a message on his dictaphone regarding the secret passageway ‘This is secret Agent C.A.B, have discovered secret stairs leading from the shop’. They all walk into a corridor and Franny shows Colin an old lift. They then see a ladder leading upwards. Colin asks where it goes and Franny guesses it must be to the Policeman’s room, Umma tells them to ‘shush’ telling them they will see soon enough.
Umma opens the hatch and leads them all into the attic room, belonging to the Policeman. They look around and Umma tells them she needs to talk to them. Colin records a message on his dictaphone, ‘This is secret Agent C.A.B, have discovered secret room upstairs at the Wooden Kamel’. Franny tells him that he has not discovered it as Umma brought them there. Colin find the Policeman’s radio equipment, Umma tells him not to touch it as he continues his dictaphone message, ‘C.A.B, have discovered undercover communications centre’. Franny says that when Umma mentioned that the Policeman listened to his radio and watched TV all day she never thought she meant this. They then hear someone talking in the shop below over the radio. They hear Mr Hellman saying that he needs them ‘especially the boy’. Colin surmises that anyone listening on the radio can hear everything that happens in the shop meaning there must be bugs and microphones everywhere. Umma says there are but not any upstairs, Franny asks how she knows and Umma tells them she has checked. Colin discovers the computer and Umma tells them that she did not bring them there to break things. Colin says it is important as they might be able to find information about Hellman and everyone else. Franny asks what Umma wanted to tell them and Colin asks where the table is. Umma reassures them that she knows where the table is as it is a pile of ashes at the council tip. Franny says that is not what she told them before; Colin says it has ruined everything. Franny tells Umma that Colin has lost his book, the map and the photograph. Umma then produces a library ticket stub and passes it to Colin saying that she took his book back to the library and found the half of the map and the photograph; Umma tells them she is going to keep them. Franny moans at Colin saying it was a daft place to hide them.
Downstairs in the shop Tripe is moaning at Hellman as he is calling the president, when he gets though he asks to speak to the president. Hellman tells him to hurry as long distance calls are very expensive. Tripe tells him to shut up as he is put through to the president but gets cut off. Tripe tells him that the president will not be happy and he calls the number again from his clipboard. Hellman tries to look but Tripe tells him the telephone number is only to be seen by certain people. Hellman tells Tripe to wait until after six o’clock when telephone calls are cheaper saying the map and photograph may still turn up. Tripe says that is not possible if Umma had burnt them, Hellman tells him if they are still around he can still find them and to give it another day.
Back upstairs, they are listening in on Hellman and Tripe’s conversation, Hellman is telling Tripe that they may have got to the map and photograph before the table was burnt but don’t know if the children have them or Umma does, Tripe says he does not trust Umma or any other female woman. Umma tells Colin and Franny that they have managed to confuse them, they are not sure if the table has been burnt along with the map and the photograph. Colin says it is ‘Secret Agent’s golden rule, confuse everyone as much as possible’, Franny is dismayed at another golden rule. Umma then tells them that the more confusion there is the more time we have at MI6 to make a plan. Franny asks if Umma is a secret agent but Umma replies ‘if I told you it wouldn’t be a secret would it?’ Colin asks if she has a plan so Umma tells him that there are four men after the treasure but the most dangerous one is Private Tripe, calling the other three crooks, saying that Tripe wants to find it for President Al-Greener so he can take over the world. Colin asks what he looks like, Umma tells him he has not been to the shop as he stays on his island but shows them a picture she has of him in her compact on the off chance he does come to the shop so she can identify him. Franny says that he does not look much like a president but Umma warns them that he is the most dangerous in the world as he is ‘as mad as a hatter’. Colin asks why she never told them before so Umma reminds him that the shop is bugged and if she had told them anyone listening would also know. Colin asks if she works for MI6 and Umma nods saying that is why she is after Al-Greener and now they will just have to keep everyone running around until Anwar gets back. Franny asks where Anwar went so Umma tells them he went back to Egypt as he did not realise how bad the situation was but she hopes he was coming back mentioning that Anwar said something about ‘a blue bead’, Colin repeats ‘the blue bead’ and Umma asks if they know about it. Franny goes to answer but gets interrupted by Hellman’s voice over the radio. Colin thinks he said map and listens again, they hear it again and Franny realises they are playing ‘snap’; Colin thinks it is daft as they were only arguing a minute ago. They hear ‘snap’ again and Umma thinks they are playing snap, they hear Hellman say ‘not long now Private Tripe and it will be mine’, they hear Tripe reply ‘games not over yet, acting sergeant Hellman’.
Downstairs Hellman and Tripe are playing snap with a deck of cards over the kitchen table, they both stare intently at the pile of cards and take a few turns, Tripe lays a card and Hellman calls out ‘snap’ and grabs the cards before Tripe does, Hellman takes the pile of cards and they continue. Hellman lays a card first with Tripe laying his last card on top. Hellman lays the next card and even though the cards do not match calls out snap and grabs the pile before Tripe sees. Tripe struggles to lift Hellman’s hand to check the cards; Hellman calls him a bad loser. Tripe finally uncovers the cards and sees that Hellman has cheated and takes the other half of the map from the side of the table. Tripe walks off into the front shop so Hellman quickly stands up and moves the hands of the clock to lock him in. Tripe threatens him that if he does not open the door he will break his neck. Hellman asks Tripe to finish the game.
Upstairs Colin, Franny and Umma are still listening, Tripe continues that they have finished and the map is his.
Downstairs Tripe tells Hellman that his time is up, Hellman tells him he has an idea and to give him another chance. Tripe tells him he has had enough chances. Hellman tells him that he has decided they have to get ‘rid of those two’. Tripe asks ‘what two’ as we see Colin and Franny listening to the conversation upstairs. Hellman tells him he knows what two, saying they do not need them around any more. Franny thinks he means them and they continue to listen. Hellman tells Tripe that he has everything worked out and Tripe is to trust him, he picks up the phone and extends the telephone aerial. Colin and Franny look at each other and Tripe looks at Hellman and the episode ends.
