Series Two - Episode Two: Eel Pie and Custard
C.A.B Episodes | Episode Details | Cast & Crew | Images | Secret Agent Notes | Episode Synopsis | Episode Guide
C.A.B Episodes
Episode Details
UK Air Date: Wednesday 27th January 1988, 16.45pm
Copyright Year: MCMLXXXVII (1987)
Consecutive Episode Number: 15
Fremantle Archive Ref: 37192
IMDB Link: Episode page
Cast & Crew
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Images
More images can be found in the image galleries
Secret Agent Notes
Hellman tells Colin that Ma Mossop has gone to Eel Pie Island during this episode. Eel Pie Island is a small island in the River Thames in Twickenham, London. The island can only be reached by bridge or by boat. Click Eel Pie Island for more information.
Episode Synopsis
Franny and Colin are confronted by Mr Hellman dressed as the pirate Long John Silver with a parrot. He tells them a phoney story about a fancy dress party which they don't believe. They know he's really after the map which Colin has of the sacred tomb. He tries to get them on his side in the search for the tomb but becomes terrified when a strange soldier arrives on the scene and begins to threaten Colin and Franny.
Episode Guide
‘This is secret Agent C.A.B. C.A.B. is the call sign for Colin Freshwater. This is my assistant Franny Barnes, codename Franny the Brill. The secrets of Ma Mossop’s old junk shop have lead us to mysterious adventures at The Wooden Kamel’.
‘Secret Agent C.A.B reporting, I came to the Wooden Kamel because I saw a notice about it in a shop window, and I came because I had a message to meet Colin here, but he said he never sent it. The door had a padlock on it but it opened on the wrong side, a lot of strange things happened especially Umma the disappearing cleaning lady. First she was no where to be seen then next minute she was in front of us large as life, larger, she keeps on saying weird sayings all the time. Then we got ourselves locked in, the door just wouldn’t budge, so we started shouting hoping that somebody would come and let us out, Umma, Umma, Umma’.
After shouting for Umma a parrot comes from in between the curtain and Hellman walks through dressed as Long-John Silver. Colin asks who he is and Hellman asks why he does not recognise the most famous character in Treasure Island. Franny recognises him and Hellman explains he is in fancy dress for a party. Colin asks why he is there. Hellman continues to explain that the shop is his and the fancy dress party is for the opening of the shop. Hellman shows them his latest acquisition, the space man suit; he asks them what they think of it all. Franny asks why he has spelled Camel with a ‘K’. He says she is most observant, she says it is weird. Hellman notices Colin has brought his bag with him and stares at it on the table. Hellman eventually tells them that his friends at MI6 told him to spell it that way, it was some sort of special code but he did not know what it meant.
Hellman asks them to come through the back for a chat for old times sake but Colin tells him that Franny has to go home. Hellman does not mind this as it was Colin he wants to talk to anyway. Hellman walks through to the back of the shop reminding Colin to bring his bag with him. Franny tells Colin that she will stay as she does not want to leave Colin alone with Hellman.
In the back shop Hellman alters the time on the clock and calls out that they will find that there is nothing wrong with the door. Franny goes to open the door and it opens easily, she shows Colin saying it is unlocked. Colin stares at the photograph of Sergeant Nobby Clarke and the copy of the map, he quickly puts them in the dustbin Franny brought. Franny asks him why and he whispers back that Hellman must have heard them talking about them and that he must have put the notice in the newsagent’s window. Hellman calls out to them to ‘come along’. They both walk through to the back and we see a close up of the spacesuit.
Outside somewhere we see a man in a blue tracksuit with a clipboard; he marches over the road and looks into the window of a costume shop.
In the backshop of the Woonde Kamel Colin and Franny are sitting down at the table and Hellman is serving them a bowl of pie and custard, Franny declines saying she’s not hungry. He tells her that she must have room for some pie and custard explaining that he’s not yet organised yet and will need some more pots and pans then he puts the pan of custard on the empty chair. He goes to put the kettle on for a cup of tea, Colin declines but Hellman says that he will have a cup of tea. Hellman says he would ask Umma to do it, asking them if they have met her yet. Colin and Franny tell him they have and that she keeps disappearing and Hellman remarks that he knows what thy mean. He picks up the tray and knocks over Colin’s bag on purpose, he picks up the bag and pulls out a book called ‘Jim Glue Super Spy’ saying it would be right up Colin’s street. He asks where they were and Colin retorts ‘going through my things’. Hellman is hurt saying he was only taking an interest, he then asks them what they have been up to since last they met, adding he caould not remember when that was.
Colin and Franny think back as we get a flashback to series one – ‘Bet he remembers alright, creep, when we last saw Mr Hellman he was real mad because he thought his map and photo had been burnt. You’ll be sorry one day, mark my words. Colin kept the photo and a copy of the map showing where how to find the treasure’.
We then see the man outside in an army uniform; he steps out the shop, looks around and starts to march.
Back in the shop Colin asks Hellman where his cousin (Ma Mossop) and Tatters have gone to. Hellman draws the curtain separating the front and back shop saying that ‘walls have ears’; he tells them that she has gone to Eel Pie Island seeking political asylum. Hellman says it suits Tatters as she has always liked fish. Franny notices the clock saying ‘look at the time’ worried that she will be late home. Hellman tells her to disregard the clock as it has not worked for ages and he only keeps it as a memento as he adjusts the time the doors lock. Hellman tells Colin he hears that he had a copy of the map and photo all the time. Franny snaps that he gave them to the Police but Hellman tells them he knows that the Police did not keep them, he asks again where they are, Colin replies saying he has not got them. He accidentally nudges the saucepan of custard then moves it to the sideboard (next to the sink).
Hellman tells them about all the stories about the blue bead not being true, Franny asks if they was not a treasure. Hellman confirms this as correct, but explains that there was still an ancient tomb, the one he found during the war and that he left supplies there for his friends. He explains that amongst the supplies that there was the most important thing he left behind was a secret weapon. He mentions that he wished he never say the thing there.
All of a sudden he hears Umma upstairs vacuuming, Hellman panics and picks up his Long-John Silver costume saying he forgot about them as he does not want Umma to see them as if she knows that he is having a party she will want more money to tidy up afterwards. He tells Franny to grab the parrot and Hellman and Franny go to the front shop; Hellman puts the costume in the dustbin (without knowing that is where Colin left the photo and map). Colin shouts out ‘Franny, no’ as Hellman takes the parott, puts it in the dustbin and closes the lid. Hellman asks why not but Franny tells him that the bin was empty anyway. The phone (being held by the spaceman suit) starts to ring, he tells Franny to go into the back shop which she does, he answers the phone (disguised as a can of Pepsi) saying it is not a convenient time. Colin and Franny look on peering at the side of the curtain, but they can not hear what he is saying. Franny asks ‘what was the name of the American friend Ma Mossop had’. Colin says it was Grandison, Franny wonders whether it might be him they are talking about. Franny asks what they should do about the costume in the dustbin; Colin adds it is on top of the map and photo. Franny notices that the Long-John silver trousers have been left behind wondering what he is up to, Colin thinks it is something fishy but he is not worried but Franny thinks he should be as Hellman knows that he has the map and photo and that he wants them for something.
In the front shop Hellman is talking to the policeman saying it is not a good idea to come down into the shop as they will get suspicious.
Colin tries to figure out the code, Camel with a ‘K’. Franny says it is easy as she is the ‘Ace Codebreaker’. Franny explains it is ‘IDC’, or ‘Initial Distance Code’ by adding up the letters in the correct spelling and the letters in the wrong spelling and the distance is the answer, they write down Kamel and Camel in Colin’s notebook, Franny explains that A equals one, B equals two, C equals 3. They work out what all the letters in Kamel and Camel come to 42 and 34, making a difference of eight. ‘Pieces of Eight’ colin remarks saying that is why he is dressing up as Long-John Silver and that Hellman is after the treasure no matter what he says summarising that the shop must be the HQ of the cell. Hellman walks in saying it was a business associate on the phone asking what he should wear to the party.
Outside we see the man in the army uniform leaving an underground station and marching through a tunnel.
Back in the shop Hellman is telling Colin and Franny that he was only a sergeant in the army and he was told to take the secret weapon and leave it in a safe place, noting that he did not know how important it was. He continues to explain that MI6 now want the secret weapon back and that it why he wants to see the map. He reassures them he does not want the treasure only the secret weapon. Colin mentions that he told them that there is no treasure. Hellman says he is confusing them, there is no treasure but he wants to find the map and give it back to MI6 and that would be ‘a weight off my treasure chest’, he corrects himself saying ‘off my chest’, ‘off my mind’ saying that they know what he means. Colin and Franny are unsure of his story.
The man in uniform is marching down the street at a quick pace.
Hellman asks them again where the map is, Colin answers that they were thrown away in a dustbin, Franny confirms this as true as she saw him throw them away. Hellman reassures them that MI6 know that at least one more copy of the map exists and it is his task to find them. Colin asks if he has checked upstairs, he says that someone is living upstairs and he can not go up there. Franny mentions that Umma goes upstairs, Hellman snaps asking how they know that then he realises that they have heard her vacuuming upstairs, saying that she mentioned that she works for another gentleman in the building. Franny asks how she gets there as there are no stairs, Hellman says he has noticed there are not any stairs. Colin tells Hellman that he does not believe him as no-one would want a gun from the Second World War as it would not work anymore. Hellman explains that it was not a gun but did not know what it was as it was secret. MI6 keep writing to him and phoning him up asking if he has found anything yet, he tells them that it was them on the phone just now. Franny reminds him that it was someone asking what to wear at the party. Hellman says that MI6 people go to parties. Hellman asks them if they want a cup of tea, Franny tells him they are going home, Franny peers into to the front shop but there is a knock on the door, Franny notices the door is locked again. Hellman thinks it is Private Tripe but it can not be him as he is dead, he starts to panic. He knocks the saucepan of custard over himself, Colin and Franny laugh. Hellman takes the Long-John Silver trousers saying he is going to the cleaners to get the trousers cleaned, he alters the clock, tells them not to sell him anything and exits out the back door. Private Tripe walks down the stairs into the shop, he calls out ‘Shop’. Franny thinks they should go but Colin says that they should play for time noting the doors were locked but now they are open. Private Tripe peels back the curtain and says ‘Who are you? You horrible little hutched’.
